OOAD Practz.....

Well u do any kind of graduation in India I.T. jobs will always be open for you.Just u have to do is to do a small course in NIIT or any such institute.It costs u only 2% of what it costs to do IT or computer engineering and just 1/48 th of its time; but u'll never get the experience of those 4 years in ur lifetime, those 4 years, not a part of our life instead it itself is LIFE (courtesy to B.E CMPN 04-08 batch).

In mumbai university we have IT and computers as two different stream. And the worst part is the guy who defined the syllabus , forgot that they are two different streams.Which means both the streams almost have the same subjects.

It was april 2007 viva and practz for 6th semester. we had this subject called OOAD "Object Oriented Analysis and Design" ( Thanx to the blog n GOOGLE ..otherwise i would never be knowing what the abbreviation.. stood for :P ).
And the worst part is... My sis marriage ceremony was taking place at that very time. so everyone was off to my native place to attend the ceremony, except me...
Meanwhile i had this frnd of mine (friend cum partner in crime) Mr.Atul Raut.

he lives at napeansea rd. one of the costliest place in Mumbai, India. Fortunately his cousin also was getting engaged at that time. so everyone from his family as well had gone for the engagement.We planned a group study that night at his place, the best part being , neither he was knowing anything nor me of that subject .So we decided to call a person who could atlleast help us to get minimum 10 out of 25, only one name was unanimously agreed upon, Shri. Viresh Parikh ( A gujju who never wanted to b a part of our crime but his fate always wanted him to be one :P :D ) .He lives in Kandivali .
We got together @ 9 pm at Atul's place just a night b4 we had our practz.. Atul brought in a khamba of Alcazar and roti ,dal, rice, veg kolhapuri. We scheduled,

1) till 11 we'll do tp then

2)11-2 padhai n then

3)2- 7 the best thing of the world sleep.

For task one i opened my yahoo chat .. saw 2 of my Girl frnds(friend who are gals) online. We started with a junior, her name starts with "S" Atul was in a mood of "khiching taang" so he took over me Atul became Satya n begun with what he is best at... baaton baaton mein he said that he knows a dark n handsome guy which would be the worlds best proposal for her to get married to.

The proposal was a foto of Mota (Sachin Salunkhe) in an artificial frame which had a transistor caught in his right hand and chipkayofied to his right ear.

She went offline.. may be even b4 she even saw the piccy of her dream proposal. Exactly what we were expecting :P .

After that, was the turn of Ms. Meesha from pune .A gal with loads n loads of attitude. We started with the supposedly most intersting topic of kissing( a study confirms that girls like guys they can fantasize good kiss with and boys obviously fantasize sex).. she said her bf's mouth stinks.. Atul suggested a good mehanga wala mouth freshner...atul ( faking to be satya) went on to give kissing tips till 2.30 am in the night.

And the experience which followed that night... i m dead sure she cursed us real bad.. :D

At 2.30 a.m..(with the schedule out of memory under inebriation)... Atul had this bike of his friend. he suggested to go for a ride it ..will be refreshing and we can start with OOAD after that. So we kept all our things at Atul's place including shoes, purse, pants etc , went in shorts n tee , naked feet on a triple seat ride (Atul the driver, Viru in middle n myself last ). the roads were dead and empty enticing us to speed on 90-100kmph.. within just 10 mins we arrived at waterfront to haji ali...Viru uncle requested us to move back to d room n start studying .I said no way Atul go on m still sleepy . Within just next 5 min came dadar Viru now requested with a pleading tone lets go brothers we came too far. Atul said now since we are in dadar we'll just say namastey to Siddhivinayak Ganeshji for tomo practz n then will go back, we both agreed on that note.

We reached Siddhivinayak in next 2 mins we said namastey duur se n bcoz der whr no u-turn we took a Bhavani Shankar Mg. As soon as we took a turn to that road der was police nakabandi .It was 2.50 a.m at night der was not even a dog roaming on that road, Only we 3 engineers in half chaddi in dadar street with naked feets on a triple seat with no helmet and driver with 2 peg down with no gaadi ka paper no insurance no puc no money and driver having no license .We were totally fucked......

Proxy Continues....

But I was not so lucky He came in next 5 min , following him came our HOD , Prof.XYZ with Prof. Pankaj (he use to teach us TCS subject).Whole class gave them a greetings of the day but we knew somewhere deep in our mind that this greetings will have very negative after effect .Our HOD took the lead and started with "This is 1st time in VIT's history" i said in my mind '' Sir there is always a first time.'' he continued ''This should not be happen in future so we have to take some strict action on that guy so temme u all know who is the culprit i give u 5 mins '' and he waited for 2 mins nobody responded.u are trying to save him i give u last min temme otherwise u have to write last 5 university papers(without option) of my subject(computer networks) 5 times , before he gets over Prof.XYZ added "MERE BHI SUBJECT ke." and though Prof.Pankaj was cool but he had to add "3 times of mine". Then all the profs waited for 1 more min expecting somebody will tell it.

Getting no answer made them more irritated So HOD announced one more lifetime offer " 5 marks will be deducted from ur term work(out of 25) from all the subjects and including this 3 the above offer will be valid to all other subjects as well " So it added upto 6 i.e. 40 pages(minimum) per subject per paper * 5 (univ paper) * 6 (subject) * 5 (times) = 6000 Full scape paper of 40 lines per page in just 2 weeks + (-5) marks in term work .( M sure if anybody would have calculated that , surely must have told my name :P) . But nobody said nothing which made profs left with no other option but to leave the class.

As soon as they left, One of the "padhaku" student started telling to other student "I'll not write this I'll call my parents if they will force me. I had not done anything then y should i write ."( i said to myself i would have said the same thing (skipping parent part :P) if i was in there place) . If this thing goes to any of our parent then it will surely go to "The Princi" and this issue will become even bigger and the Princi will announce 100 % sale offer on us .I took a step forward towards my CR and told him i would like to confess my sin. CR asked me "R u sure?" i said "Yes" . CR took me down to Profs staff room and asked me to stand outside and wait for his signal.He went inside and started talking to Prof.XYZ .Standing outside i realized there were no prof. inside the staff room except Prof.XYZ since it was a lecture time. CR told something to Prof.XYZ and they both started laughing ,actually he was cooling Prof.XYZ before he could tell anything about me.after 20 sec vartalap he pointed a finger on me. He came outside and wished me luck and said "Dude its ur turn now." Go.

I went inside it was the 1st time i went in staff room , on my right hand side it was Prof.XYZ's desk . He was looking at me as if i was a chocolate with no wrapper and he will eat me in just one byte to lessen his depression .Looking at him i said "I'm Sorry S-S-Sir." He climbed on me from his chair shouting "Bhosdichyaaaa" is this what your parent teach u?? (i said in my mind "Ask your son makchhikko .") "U know because of "u" i haven't slept for whole night i was thinking my daughter also goes to collg ". I reacted as if m deaf n dumb .He waited for me to respond for his question .after a while he said what's ur name? He took my I-CARD in his hand and read my name "Satyendra Mishra" What does ur father do ?(i read his mind and figured out his next question. Call ur father.) I said "Sir my father is a farmer by profession. (with a sad face) (In real he is a tax counsultant by profession) " .He asked me where is he ? "he is not in mumbai ; he is in my native " . (actually he have his own firm in Vikhroli and around 3000 clients just in Mumbai).

Next Q : So u live with whom ?

A. My elder brother.

Q : What does he do ? ("why the fuck u want to know it ? for ur daughter?")

A. He is doing service with bioMeriux as a Biomedical engineer.

Order : Call him. Till then u r not allowed to seat for any lecture.

A. Ok.

Our HOD entered the staff room . Prof.XYZ said "meet the culprit Satyendra Mishra" HOD replied in a shock " U ? I thought u r very sincere and discipline student "(i said fuck u just by writing "Shake my boob" i became insincere and indisciplined where the hell in this world u found such a dictionary which had so wrong definition ?) . He continued "He attended all the lecture of mine from last semester very sincerely " Prof.Fucker added "Mine too ".HOD said "Call his parent " Fucker replied "he live with his brother and i had already called him" HOD said "Fine . get ur brother on Friday @ 1 p.m. " now go home.

I said sorry and came out of the staff room and called my brother he was in pune at that time .He asked me wats up ? brother wat happened no lecture ? or u bunked ?. I ignored his Q and started narrating him the same way as above . He said "ok fine now what? what else have u told to them ? what about mother ? did u tell anything about mother ?" I said "NO bro " thats all .

He said "Thank god" Fine friday @ 1 i'll there u calm down and go home try not be tensed otherwise u know MOM "MOM will easily make out from your face what is happening "

I said "OK and thanks ". I waited outside in the canteen for the lunch break.

It was 1 .15 p.m. bell ranged . On that day i realized one thing "The ratio of (Bad thing)/(good thing) = (1/100) U do 100 of good things and no one will notice, but u just do "ONE" bad thing and you are famous overnight." IT department was the 1st to get the break.A group from IT came to me (90% of that group i dint even knew them ) and said "Dude u have guts Prof.XYZ ki g**nd maari fuck majaa agaya uska muh dekne layak tha ,keep it up bro do 3-4 more kaand like this Prof.XYZ will take sanyaas " .I said thanks buddy now get lost and leave me alone. There came my frnds i said dude m leaving for home anybody like to accompany me ? "Everyone took there bag (as if they waiting for such comments) . We went to Swagat and then home.

Proxy @ Mu p.

There are almost 99 % of student who must have written proxy for there frnds or vice versa in lectures and got caught by the prof. :P . But here its a different story It involves terrorism :D .

After all the things that terrorist have done ; me and my class mates got highly inspired by them and on the basis of there name we assigned a nick to our friends group circle like a guy named deepak became Dawood , Swapnil became Tiger memon (coz he was huge ) myself became Suleiman , baabu and his gay partner became alif laila , Viresh became shaikh mehboob and so on.

We started calling each other with this name. And i wanted whole class to know about it. So i found attendance sheet be the only medium to publish . It was Tuesday and we had this lecture of Mu p it was taken by head of the IT department Prof. XYZ . On that day i was late to the lecture (actually i dont remember when i was early :P ) . There was a very nice trend in my class and i.e. we use to leave 1st 2 benches empty and start sitting from 3rd bench and on last benches there use to be 3-4 student sitting in 1 bench i always use to take the last bench for me. Specially on that day it was full as we say "Kismat hi pandu toh kya karega G**ndu" . I looked around and found a 3rd last bench in 1st row which accommodated only 2 very padhaku student (i said to myself chal yaar ye lecture nikaal lete hein next lecture we'll see) .

Lecture started and Prof.XYZ was very khadoos he wanted full attendance in his lecture and no proxies. He started drawing some block diagrams on black board and wanted us to follow him(in our notebook) as he goes. Attendance sheet started rolling from 1st bench of 1st row (3rd bench to be specific) . I bent down to draw the diagram and got interrupted by a paper ball which just hit my head coming from my right side , I tried to found the culprit but failed. Somewhere down my heart i thought it must be "shaikh mehboob" till that time attendance sheet got rolled on to my desk.There i thought its time to teach him a lesson which can also be fun, I took the attendance sheet and started mentioning all the nick which i knew was sitting in the class with a pencil(So that they can erase it and sign there actual signature) . baabu --> Alif , Sandesh --> Laila , Deepak --> Daud , Shaikh mehboob --> "Shake My Boob" and so on. I completed all the proxy of our group circle which was around 30 % of the class. and passed it to my neighbor. As it got passed by, everyone started adding their friends name in that piece of paper. And after certain desk everyone started erasing with a eraser and signing of and pass. Till that time Prof.XYZ got over with his diagram and started wandering around the class to see whether the students are drawing or doing there fav work (tp) . The worst part is he started with last row. After watching certain bench he got relief that everyone is drawing except some "ass holes" .So he just started ogling here and there after some time he found that each desk where the attendance sheet got rolled the ppl are erasing something and then signing it.He asked a student who was about to erase his name "hey, what are you erasing ? ,wait Give me, lemme check "

The guy passed it to the prof. and was very noticeable to any blind men in the world that the paper has multi-colored writing and 20 % name written with pencil. So, He started reading each name loudly which was written with pencil , shaikh mehboob was still 4 benches away. And my hearth beat was up by 50 % . He started with daud as deepak (Up by 60%) , alif baabu (65%) , laila sandesh (70%) and then he came to viresh (i was just about to die) .And he said oh my god!! now what is that? who is that bastard who has written this tell me ? tell me now !! or otherwise it will be really bad for this class .Everyone knew that it was me who had written this . but thank god and my colleagues nobody looked at me at that time. everyone was sitting with there head down and Prof.XYZ was going on and on.He left nothing in the world to curse that guy who had written this.He left the class saying "there will be no lecture of mu p in your class from today until that guy confesses his sin ".Our CR went outside with him and tried to explain him it is "Shaikh mehboob" and not what you read there been some reading mistake by u. But prof.xyz said m i blind or i m illiterate? and btw how do u know that it is "Shaikh mehboob" So you have written this right ?. CR was totally stunned and said no sir actually its his nick name that ppl use to call him. Prof said u goto your class and find out who had written this i want to know by tomo. Somehow he was successful in convincing him take this lecture . He came back to the class and said anybody who wrote this should goto a "Ganesh Temple" today and confess before him and should ask for some mercy otherwise he'll goto hell .He took that lecture and went back to staff room it was lunch time . I packed my bag and bunked all other lecture after that.

At 6 i got a call from my CR "there will be a long meeting tomorrow in our class with our HOD and IT HOD ,be prepared anything can happen." then i said him should i make a confession he said paagal he kya confess karna hi tha toh aaj hi karna chiye tha ab dekhte hein jo hoga poora class milke sahega u dont worry bas be prepared anything can happen tomorrow and i assure you that your name will never come up. i said ok fine and thanks dude!!

It was Wednesday today i woke up early (actually i dint sleep for whole night) and left early from home to attend very 1st lecture for the the 1st time in 5th semester. I entered the class everything was as usual but Mr.Shaikh Mehboob was absent.